Vestigious turn signals

Pondering the motives of non-signaling Hawai`i drivers

Of the many things I've learned from my father over the years, the most important remains the way he taught me to drive.

Through his frequent use of obscenities, dangerous maneuvers around slow cars, and the disturbing way he'd talk to himself about how everyone else on the road was either a moron or an idiot, I indeed leaned exactly how NOT to drive.

Yet in spite of his behind-the-wheel shortcomings, my father ingrained in my a few basic tenets that I will never forget.

First, turn on your lights whenever it rains or becomes too dark to see perfectly. Second, never drive like my grandfather -- always keep up with traffic even if it means going a little over the speed limit.

And always, ALWAYS, use your turn signal -- whether actually turning or just changing lanes.

I used to think that was standard driving procedure, a practice observed throughout the world. If you're going to turn, use your signal. That makes sense.

But since I came to Hawai`i, I've learned differently. Here, using the turn signal is optional.

I've had several explanations for this. My first theory was that, since everyone this side of Fort Shafter has been living here all their lives, everyone automatically knows where every one else is going.

If this were the case, turn signals simply wouldn't be needed. Yet with 700,000 people in the Honolulu area, that would be impossible.

My second hypothesis was that turn signals are too expensive to be considered standard equipment in cars nowadays. Because of their cost, then, dealerships chose to leave them out instead of including them is an options package. So although the red plastic is still there, their light bulbs inside are missing.

This might have explained why no one uses blinkers. The little bulbs inside, I guess, proved to be too much trouble for car manufacturers to install free of charge.

Fortunately, this is not the case. I checked with a few dealerships, and it seems ever car, truck, motorcycle, scooter, and moped out there gets some sort of signaling mechanism automatically installed.

Surprisingly, there isn't even a charge for this service. I guess dealerships realize there's no money to be made in this area, so they do it free of charge.

So if turn signals really are needed, and they're completely free to have and use, why aren't people using them? Is it out and out laziness, a complete disregard for others, or something else?

I'd argue the last. It can't be called laziness because, after all, it really is quite a hassle to reach over with your left pinky to pull the turn signal up so you can turn right.

And since it seems like I'm the only one who minds, I can't say it's a complete disregard for others. I haven't heard anyone yelling out "signal!" in the same way scream "lights!" when I drive around without my headlights on, so I guess folks don't mind the inconvenience of having to accommodate for others' driving "style."

My most recent speculation is that people actually like slowing down for no apparent reason while the car up ahead virtually stops in the right hand lane.

Perhaps folks truly enjoy the opportunity to slam on their brakes at the last second to avoid life-risking accidents. A good fear-induced adrenaline surge keeps you alert at work, I hear.

If this were the case, avoiding the use of turn signals is a public service. Fear of a grisly death behind the wheel will help keep students awake as they travel in a 5 a.m. to find parking in Manoa Valley.

Not only that, filling out the accident report for that read-ending gives you a chance to know your neighbors better.

Whether it's a conscious decision on their part or not, the greatest joy I find in dealing with the non-signaling drivers comes from riding a moped.

This isn't to say I like being stuck behind one; I like being in front. The King Street and McCully intersection is the best example, because King Street's right hand lane allows one to continue straight or make a right turn.

There, you can be first in line on a moped (which allows you to pull over to the left and allow others to squeeze by in you so choose) and yet hold up traffic by not moving at all.

And it's not really unethical because, since the guy behind you doesn't have his blinker on, he's essentially saying he's going straight, too.

So if you're like I was, frustrated by the innumerable blockheads on the road who don't know how to use their signals, don't get mad. That's just another manifestation of local culture.

Get even by driving a moped down King Street.