Ever wonder why...?

Searching for life's answers with meaningless rhetoric

Have you been to the grocery store and seen the sections of "organic" fruits and vegetables? Since when have we had to advertise the food we eat as "organic"?

What's the difference between the organic foods and all the other stuff? Has the normal fare been cybernetic or robotic in origin all this time, and I just haven't notice it?

Where do newspapers come up with their crazy names? Doesn't the "Seattle Post-Intelligencer" sound more like a new philosophy than a periodical?

As for the other end of the spectrum, isn't the University of Nebraska's "Daily Nebraskan" just a little bland? Wouldn't the "Nebraskatarian" sound a lot more interesting?

Why did reporters ask Boris Yeltsin if he would try to prevent the ruble devaluation? The whole deal with devaluations is that it HAS to be a surprise.

What did they expect? For Yeltsin to say "Hmmm, no, I think I'll just let the country fall into a state of instant financial panic"?

Have you ever been stopped by a driver asking for directions at a stoplight? Why do they do that?

Don't they realize that by the time you explain all the landmarks (no one knows the street names) and weird turns the light will have already changed back to red about three times?

When you want the room to be warmer, should you say "turn the air conditioner down" or "up"? Wouldn't down give the impression that you wanted it colder?

Why do some people say "ATM machine"? Isn't that redundant? Which is better: to be redundant and say "ATM machine" or to slur your speech and blend the "sh" and "s" sounds together when you say "cash station"?

Why do investors buy when stock prices are already high, then sell when they're low, especially when they know it's supposed to go the other way around?

If, according to the Aug. 19 Star-Bulletin, 52 percent of Hawaii's government is dishonest, why do so many incumbents get re-elected? Doesn't that show that people really just don't care?

And if they don't care, then why did the Star-Bulletin run the story on the front page?

Why are University of Hawai`i researchers cloning mice? Do we really need more mice in Hawai`i? Why don't they clone nene, honu, or something else endangered?

Why does Mark McGuire attract so much attention for his use of androstenedione? It's not like it helps him his the ball any easier, so why bother him about it?

When people say, "back in the day," do they mean "yesterday," "the other day," "a day long, long ago," or something like "back in the Jurassic"?

Wouldn't it be funny if, in order to eliminate the personal ads, the newspapers folded the pages over, matched the women-seeking-men with the men-seeking-women, and then called each person on behalf of their match?

If the people found out, would they be angry?

Why does the state mandate one percent of all construction expenditures go toward new art, but zero percent on artwork maintenance?

Doesn't that essentially doom our campus to a long, slow decline where, at some point in the future, we'll just be one big junkyard of rusty art?

I've heard a lot of stupid questions, but if people say there's no such thing as a stupid question, does that mean just the person is stupid? Would they be mad if someone pointed that out?

Why do you ask a question if you're not going to wait for an answer?

Why do I even bother asking?