All I ever needed to know, I learned from cartoons

From watching cartoons in general:

• Be content with what you're watching. The cartoons aren't always better on the other channel.
• Be nice to your sister. If you're not, she might go wake up Mom and Dad. Then they'll get REALLY mad, turn off the TV, and NO ONE will get to watch what they want.
• The best time to be awake is the early morning. The house is real quiet and you can watch just about anything you want if perfect solitude.

For specific shows:

• I have the power. - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
• Even if your family thinks you've been far outclassed your cousin, you can still make a name for yourself. -- She-Ra
• Knowing is half the battle. -- G.I. Joe
• Don't be afraid to be truly, truly, truly outrageous. -- Jem and the Holograms
• Just like cars, there's more to a person than meets the eye. -- Transformers
• There's always "next time." -- Inspector Gadget
• Rather than swear, try saying "smurf." -- The Smurfs
• Just because a person has two snorks doesn't make them a freak. -- The Snorks
• You don't always need blasters to get out of a bind. Try using a hologram. -- Scooter, from the Gobots
• I can make my dreams come true. -- Muppet Babies
• When all else fails, get four of your best friends involved. -- Voltron
• If nothing's going on, help yourself to a Scooby Snack
• Even if you're nothing but a squire, don't be afraid to go after the princess. -- The Gummi Bears
• When you've got problems with the cat, team up with the dog. -- Tom & Jerry
• No matter what, stay cool. Otherwise, the hot-tempered guy will think you're up to something despicable. -- Bugs Bunny
• Don't be a racist. Haji was just as capable as everyone else. -- Johnny Quest
• Don't underestimate the little guy. -- Underdog
• So what if you're afraid? Deal with it. -- Superchicken
• Watch out for that tree. -- George of the Jungle
• Don't have all the right words? You can get around it. -- Porky Pig
• Help yourself to a picnic basket lunch from time to time. Bring along a friend, too. -- Yogi Bear
• Even if Dick Dastardly has already laid a trap, I still have to do the right thing. -- Dudley Doright
• Always listen to the Dungeon Master. -- Dungeons & Dragons
• Stay knowledgeable about environmental issues. -- Captain Planet
• Don't be so fast to shoot somebody. They could be an ally. -- Quickdraw McGraw
• And, or, and but are conjunctions, and their function is to join phrases together. -- Schoolhouse Rock
• You can be happy without broadcasting it to the whole world. -- Droopy Dog
• Investing in quality merchandise would save money in the long run. -- Road Runner
• Don't speed. You don't want your car to go off a cliff and explode. -- Speed Racer
• Don't ever buy any dog named "Muttly." It practically screams, "I am a bad guy." -- Hanna-Barbera's Wacky Races
• If you're ever going to get a dog, it should be a golden retriever. -- Punky Brewster If your integrity is evidenced by your lifestyle, your innocence will never have to be proven. -- the Pink Panther
• When you go out on a date, try to smell nice. -- Pepe Lepew
• Sniffing flowers is OK and all, as long as you realize they won't make you fly. Opiates are generally bad. -- Mighty Mouse
• Be sure to wear your glasses when you're crossing traffic. -- Mr Magoo
• It may be inequitable, but who cares if some can fly and others have horns? It's just a cartoon! -- My Little Pony
• A little insanity will keep your foes off-balance. -- Woody Woodpecker