No kids in R movies!

My friend asked me to post something for him. He went to go see the movie "300" about two weeks ago, and came away disturbed by the experience.

Not that he's squeemish -- the movie itself wasn't the problem -- it was all the kids that were in the theater. If you've seen 300, you know that the movie is not designed for children. Heads get severed, bodies run through with swords and spears, and grotesque monstrosities spill blood like it was going out of style.

Flashback with me for a moment to 1981. I was a six year-old kid watching The Empire Strikes back with my father in the movie theater. Luke Skywalker, after wandering around the frozen world of Hoth, succumbs to hypothermia and collapses in a snowstorm. Han Solo finds him just in time, but his Ton-Ton mount also collapses from the cold. Thinking quickly, Han grabs Luke's light saber, slices open the Ton-Ton, and shoves him inside. "This may not smell good, but it'll keep you warm..."

I freaked out at that point. We had to leave the theater. Yeah, I was a sissy, but what can I say? I was six....

Empire was rated PG. 300 is rated R, and with the Internet these days, there's no excuse for not knowing it's going to be graphicly violent. What kind of parent thinks their kid is going to be OK with this? I mean, "Hey! It's based on a GRAPHIC novel! What do you expect?!?"

I've got two theories for this. Theory One says these parents are oblivious. Being new parents, they just don't realize that extreme violence messes kids up. They think everything will be OK because they watch TV all the time, and are used to weird stuff. They're wrong, of course, but they don't realize that until they see the kids' reactions. Fortunately, they quickly come to their senses, and don't repeat the mistake. I'd like to think this is the case for most parents, since it's an innocent kind of thing.

Theory Two is a bit darker. It says parents are just plain selfish. They know their kids aren't OK to watch rated R material; they just don't care. Their reasoning is: "I don't know anyone who can babysit, but oh well. I'm not going to let a kid get in the way of my fun, so I'll bring him along anyway."

I think that what really disturbs adults at R movies is that Theory Two might be closer to the truth. If that's the case, the implications are scarier than anything that could be on-screen. Kids not only get exposed to desensitizing violence, they pick up bad parenting habits. How do you think they're going to treat their kids?

So how do we fix this problem? The worst solution would be some kind of law that says children just plain won't be allowed in R movies. Laws like these are what get us Americans laughed at in Europe. We have so little common sense that we can't figure things out for ourselves; what should be do? Make a law.

Personally, I'd like to see the most difficult thing happen: get people to be better parents. Hey everyone, either 1.) Get some friends who can babysit, or 2.) Go see a movie your kid is better suited for. If you're not capable of either, stay at home and don't bug the rest of us. Listen to the radio or read a newspaper -- you can pick up some common sense from there.

And yes, we are telling you how to raise your child. It shouldn't be that hard to accept.