The eulogy

This is the eulogy that I gave at my grandfather's funeral. It's not word-for-word (I wrote it out afterward, based on my notecards), but the main points are there, as well as some of the tangents.

Good morning everyone,

In 1986, I had an elementary school assignment to do a biography on a member of my family. I thought about who was the most interesting person in my family, and my grandfather was my instant choice. So I'd like to talk a little about my grandfather's life and how it's impacted mine.

Most obviously, given the uniform I'm wearing, there's my grandfather's military service -- and for this occasion I even wore my 1950 glasses.

With his father's permission Otis Langley enlisted in the Merchant Marines in 1943 at the age of 16, and served on transport ships carrying cargo across the Atlantic Ocean for the war effort. I asked him one time about the scariest thing the experienced during the war, and he said it was watching a Liberty ship, en route to France, sinking in the distance, and wondering if his ship was next.

Within three years after the war ended, he'd been discharged, gotten married, had a son Robert – that guy over there -- and re-enlisted, but this time in the Army. In 1948, he was part of the 16th Constabulary force in West Berlin, just in time for the Berlin Airlift.

While he was there, he got to star in a very small scale production called "Red, Hot, and Blockaded," where he played a female role. Of course –Army units being all male at the time – this was not a big deal, but as an 11 year-old it was very uncomfortable coming to grips with the idea of my grandfather being a cross-dresser. [laughter]

In April 1950 he returned to New Jersey, only to be called up again six months later. War had broken out in Korea in June, and by December he was assigned to an engineer battalion near Seoul. As U.S. forces were learning how to counter the Chinese offensive, he was working to build bridges across the Han River.

Throughout the rest of the 50s and 60s, my grandfather served in places like Germany, Pennsylvania, Fort Knox, and Korea again. He tried to become a warrant officer, but was denied because of some health challenges. It was just as well, though, because the service obligation would have meant going to Vietnam. Instead, he retired in 1970 as a Sergeant First Class.

[Pause]

But it wasn't just through his military service that my grandfather influenced my life. During our summer vacations, my grandfather would sometimes take my sister and me to work with him, and we would talk. We’d walk down to Wawa and get snacks and baseball sticker cards. And to this day if you ask me about my favorite ice cream flavor I'll say boysenberry, even though I have yet to find another place that has it. I suppose if I really want it I'll have to learn to make it myself….

My grandfather was easy to talk to; he was open about his life, and some of the mistakes he'd made. It was really important to him that he could make people laugh. Sometimes he gave a little too much information – I think you may know what I mean -- but I think it's good for young people to have someone like that in their lives.

[Pause]

There were other things, too. I remember when I was little that he grew herbs like mint, rosemary, and chives in his back yard in these big 55 gallon drums that he buried halfway in the ground. (In the summer we'd pick the potato bugs off and he'd put them in a jar of gasoline – I guess it was because he didn't want to squish them with his fingers.)

Today, I keep herbs in my back yard, too. Since we moved to Hawaii last year, my kids have been growing pineapples, and I've got a number of other things, but I made sure to have the rosemary and the mint.

I remember looking through the collection of coins he had from the places he'd been – France, Germany, Korea – and even places he hadn't. It's something I've done, too, with the places I've been – Japan, China, and the Philippines.

When I got into high school I had to choose a foreign language to study. I chose French, and I went there, too, for the first time when I was 16. When I got into college, I chose to major in International Business, because I wanted a job that would pay me to travel to foreign countries. Now, it didn't really work out that way, but the inspiration came from him.

And in 2003 when I decided to quit my job and teach English overseas, I chose Korea, in part because I wanted to see what he once fought to protect. And where he once built physical bridges, I built the kind that connected with the country's children.

In 2005, after my grandmother had passed, he came out to visit me, and I showed him around. I took him to the War Memorial right in downtown Seoul. And we crossed the Han River on one of the bridges. Back when he was there, there were bodies that had washed up on the embankments and the single bridge. Now there are something like 23. It was important for me do that because I wanted him to see what he helped build – that what he did was important, and that it made a difference.

[Pause]

One of the things I remember about my grandfather is that he was always there for me. He was there for me in 1982 when he and my father would drive down to Virginia to pick up my sister and me for our weekend visits, and he was there for me to welcome me home when I came back from Afghanistan in 2011.

I was very proud of my grandfather. I was proud of who he was and I was proud of what he did.

And I like to think … that he was proud of me, too.

Thank you.