Making sense of a holiday

Kamehameha Day traditions, innovations

As Kamehameha Day nears, we look forward to our first day off to enjoy the summer fun and sun of Hawai`i, free from the burdensome toil of our super-intense summer classes.

Yet one thing I'd like to know about Thursday's holiday i: What is Kamehameha Day all about?

I understand the basics, like the fact that Kamehameha I, a chief from the Kohala region of Big Island, unified the Hawaiian Islands with the aid of British rifles. A shrewd individual, he world out many favorable trade agreements with foreign powers.

Nevertheless, what is it we do for it?

Ono Chinese New Year and Fourth of July, we have fireworks. For News Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day, I've noticed folks get drunk beyond their wildest dreams (a reason, I believe, for its popularity in a definitely non-Irish state).

Then, for Christmas, most everyone has something to do with either the giving or receiving parts of gift exchanges.

In contrast to the fun and excitement of Halloween and Thanksgiving, though, the best I've seen from the Kamehameha Day festivities are hordes of people crowding onto Magic Island (which, by the way, is a peninsula, not an island) to have family barbeques.

I've also heard of people skipping their Friday classes in order to have a four-day weekend.

Although there is a parade, scheduled, I'm not buying into it. WE don't have parades. The TOURISTS have parades.

After spending thousands of dollars to get here, they line up from Ward Avenue to Waikiki, all along Ala Moana Boulevard, just to view the quaint activities of the locals. I have yet to see, however, any locals watching the parade within the bounds of the Ala Wai Canal.

In Illinois, to celebrate the birthday of Casimir Pulaski, students spend their history class time learning about the Polish general who served for the American colonies during the Revolutionary War.

To the large Polish community in the Chicago area, Pulaski serves as a connection to the past, showing how students have a stake in the history of the nation.

Because Hawaiian's written form remained undeveloped until his time, Kamehameha's birthday is unknown. Therefore, this Thursday is not in honor of that event. It was the state legislature that decided upon which day Kamehameha would be memorialized.

Much to the dismay of the state's under eighteen population, it was set for a day outside of the regular curriculum calendar. The government did this, I figure, for one of two reasons.

Either parents wanted to schedule their grade school kids for summer camp, decreasing the burden of parenthood, or the state figured is could squelch Hawaiian activism by keeping it out of the consciousness of Hawaii's youth.

If Hawaiian activists wish to nurture our children with an educational system that places importance on Hawaiian history and culture (education being the most effective means to cultural continuance), popular events based on ethnic identities must be created.

When considered against the backdrop of the Hawaiian cultural resurgence, it seems strange that businesses are downplaying Kamehameha Day's importance.

Bank of Hawai`i, unlike in previous years, will not close its doors on Thursday, citing its desire for operations homogeneity between its Hawaiian and off-island divisions.

I believe we have no popular activities on Hawaiian holidays because the folks in the Hawai`i Visitor's Bureau are too focused on tourist revenues to care about what the residents might like to see.

Instead of having the parade go though the hear of Waikiki, I wonder if it might be better to shift its course to follow King Street, which would bring more attention to the small shop of the REAL Hawai`i.

Not only that, but there'd be something uncannily appropriate about having a Kamehameha Day parade along KING Street.

Then again, perhaps this isn't as good an idea as I may have thought. I'd rather have our streets clear and have Waikiki remain packed with rental cars than vice-versa. At leas that way we can guess how the traffic patterns would be.

If, however, the traditional revelry cannot be popularized, then maybe we should focus even more on appealing to the tourist than we ever have been.

We could have ludicrous games, bus as poi-eating contests, where contestants battle it out for a year's supply of lychee by eating humongous bowls of poi with their hands behind their backs.

We could even pay travel expenses to bring in other Pacific Islanders.

If not this, then we could have an outrageous Hawaiian-style Olympics, with locals pitted against opponents from the Samoan and Micronesian islands. Events would include Speed Lauhala Hat-Weaving and Synchronized Kalua Pig Pit-Digging, among others.

I realize this would totally debase Hawaiian culture and irritate the Hawaiian Studies majors, but I firmly believe our greatest asset is the ability to turn even the most sacred Hawaiian ritual into a tourist attraction for the whole world to gawk at.

Those not traditional, it sure would be fun.