How to ignore someone in the Army

With the whole rank thing going on, blowing someone off in the Army is a tricky thing. I recently pulled it off, though. heh heh heh...

I was headed into the motor pool one day when a captain pulled up in a van.

"Excuse me, LT," he started.

Looking over and seeing his rank, I saluted and said, "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?"

"What's wrong with this picture?" he replied. I gave him a blank look.

"Why aren't you wearing your patrol cap?"

"Sir, according to my company's first sergeant, we are to wear our berets whenever we are not physically working on a vehicle."

At this point he launched into a speech about how in every other motor pool everywhere else in the Army people wear patrol caps, and that my first sergeant was wrong, and blah blah blah. I wish I could quote him accurately, but quite honestly, I don't remember much because I really didn't care what he said. While he blathered on, I weighed my options.

Option 1: Get the captain's name, then turn around and announce to everyone else in the motor pool (the whole rest of the battalion) that they had to go and get their patrol caps. Thereafter I could spend the rest of the day acting like a total idiot running around repeating the stupid order, and when the lieutenant colonel called me in, I could tell him I was just doing what Captain X said. [There was a certain entertainment value inherent with this one.]

Option 2: I could launch into a lecture of my own about the difference between custom and regulation. "Sir, there's no regulation in the Army about wearing patrol caps in the motor pool," I'd begin. "That's just a custom, and therefore is subject to the discretion of the commander -- in this case, someone higher than you. Sir." [Probably would have gotten in trouble with this one.]

Option 3: Take it and just say, "Roger, sir."

Despite the obvious appeal of the first two, I went with Option 3. I nodded politely, said something respectful, and then blew him off immediately.

And that's how you do it.