The family wage earner

According to the March 26th issue of Time, "less than 1 in 5 married-couple families are supported by the husband alone." To my surprise, it turns out I'm a pretty rare breed.

The marriage contract sure has changed in the past fifty years. Looking at my marriage through the lens of this week's cover article, I can certainly identify with a lot of the perceptions author Liza Mundy cites, though I'm also guilty of some of the biases as well.

"Men have become significantly more hands-on over the past generation..." Yes, yes, I like this one.

And then there's the reverse of the goose-gander dilemma: "When the wife is the primary wage earner, does she also have the obligation to do a fair share of the housework?" To this I reply, "Here! Here!" I like the fairness.

However, I also carry a bit of traditional mindset. My goal was for us to be able to live off my salary alone; SY is happy with the option to work if she wants to. Even when we had our son, I kept that stance (though I did say it might be better for them to stay home, at least until they entered school -- especially since they'd learn Korean better).

By rights, I suppose, I shouldn't have any more attachment than my wife to the money I earn for the family, but that's still a bit hard. I really identified with the story of the guy who "gets really upset when [the wife] wants to redecorate the kitchen."

I'm also sure my wife would say that as the breadwinner I think I'm entitled to special privileges, though I'd wisely never publicly voice that opinion.

Looking back at the differences between my generation and my parents', I can't begin to imagine what kind of marriage my kids will find.