Ich bin neu in Deutschland...

"Ich bin neu in Deutschland und mein Deutsch ist immer noch schlecht." (I'm new in Germany and my German is still poor.)

I'm trying hard not to rely on the kindness of Germans in performing everyday tasks, but I find myself saying this all too often. Right before they courteously shift into some very good English.

For example, the first time I went to the post office, I just wanted to buy a box and some document envelopes, but things quickly broke down.

"Welche große?" (Which size?)
"Wir nicht haben [unintelligible]." (We don't have..."

Like, dang it, why can't you just give me something simple just to get rid of me? Why do you have to ask Level 2-type questions?

It was the same way on my second visit when I sent the box. So for the THIRD trip, I made sure I was ready. I looked up the word for "postage". Porto -- didn't sound right. "Postage stamp." Briefmarke -- yeah that's it. I pulled out a 20-euro bill (way more than enough) and went in.

"Guten Tag. Ich möchte ein Briefmarke kauffen." And I got all cued up to hear some numbers...

But no. "[Something something something]?" was the response -- and there were no numbers.

Of course there had to be a question, because nothing in life is simple. Not even mailing a simple envelope. So I just stood there for a few moments with what must have been a pained look on my face.

Ugh, fine. "Es tut mir leid. Ich bin neu in Deutschland und mein Deutsch ist immer noch schlecht."

"Do you want registered mail or regular?"

"Regular, please." Sigh. I'll try again next time.