The exit door

On January 3rd, I got the results of an MRI I did in December. I have multiple sclerosis.

After spending the following two months at Fort Hunter Liggett, I finally met with the neurologist this past Monday. There are medications for the multiple, recurring variety and for those who have a more severe form of the primary progressive sort (the kind I have), but not much for people with lighter symptoms like me.

On Tuesday, I met with my Primary Care Manager (PCM) and asked if I had any options – whether to get a P2 or P3, but no. In accordance with Army Regulation 40-501 chapter 3, my PCM gave me a “Permanent 3” profile and referred my case to the physician who initiates Medical Evaluation Boards.

On Wednesday I printed out the profile and informed my boss, senior boss, S-1, and branch manager. I also set up the initial counseling with the "Physical Evaluation Board Liaison Officer," or PEBLO, on April 6th. This will be my first step in exiting the Army.

This new reality has caused me to reflect on a number of things. I'm not so upset anymore about the low likelihood of being selected for promotion by the upcoming board. But I am bummed about some other things I haven't really thought of until now:

• I like the way the Army forces to stay in shape.
• I like being able to wear one uniform for five days straight. (Spilled sauce on the camo? No problem!)
• I like that people walk up to me and say nice things just because I'm in uniform.
• I like being part of a team.
• I liked to think about one day being a Foreign Area Officer (FAO).
• I liked to think about one day making major. Before he passed away last year, my grandfather used to constantly ask me about when I would be promoted. It would have made him proud.

It saddens me to leave, but these things make me think everything will be OK:

• I'm already situated in Hawaii, so I can look for a job here locally if I want to stay. And I'm in a far better place than I was 15 years ago (when I left Hawaii to teach English).
• I'll have a veteran's preference for any government job I apply for.
• I can choose where I want to work, what I want to do, and stay for as long as I like. I'm at a stage in my life now where I'm not interested in moving around as often as I have been, and I'd like to spend more time in one job than I have been.
• This way, I can apply to be a State Department Foreign Service Officer. I wouldn't likely have been selected to be a FAO, much less one for northeast Asia. Not even my Korean-American friend could get that.
• Between retirement and disability, it looks like I'll get about $3,000 a month. That's not too shabby.
• I could get a U.S. government job overseas if I want, and they'll pay for the living quarters.
• I can choose my own fitness routine.

So despite the stress of the transition, I think things could work out very well.

I hope so.