Another dream

I had a dream about my brother again last night. In the dream, he was about four years-old. When I woke up I felt a renewed sense of loss, and after the reality check (where am I? how old am I? what year is this?) I felt angry at myself.

Angry because I feel it's not fair to remember him as *I* was most familiar with him -- a young boy. He was 34 years-old when he died -- a grown man with his own dreams, priorities, and ambitions. I feel as though I'm not respecting who he really was when I remember some decades-old, by-gone version him.

Worse, I wan't even remembering him as he was when I last lived with him -- a ten year-old. I couldn't even muster a memory of him like that.

I saw a meme this past February, but I don't know where it's from.

I wish I knew.