My first trip to France: Thank God for Volvic

My first night in France was … memorable.

On arrival in Sallanches, we got sorted out, there was a reception party, and then we went home to rest. I remember I had a big headache at the time, so Chrystèle’s mother gave me a cup of water and this huge, horse-pill of an aspirin. I thought to myself, “Well, that’s how things are in France, I guess,” and powered that thing down with a gulp of the water.

At this, Chrystèle’s mother betrayed a look of concern. Here’s a short paraphrase of the conversation that immediately followed:
“Il faut la prendre avec de l’eau.” (You need to take it with water.)
“Oui, je l’ai prise avec de l’leau.” (Yes, I took it with water.)
“Non, on la met dans l’eau.” (No, you put it in the water.)

At that, *I* must have betrayed a look of concern, because that’s when I realized what was going on. This wasn’t like taking a Tylenol; this was like an Alka-Seltzer. What I’d just swallowed was going to bubble up inside my stomach like an inflating balloon.

Now, I wasn’t a mean person in high school, but I knew of mean people. And from those people I’d heard of guys feeding Alka Seltzer to sea gulls, with predictable results. Fearing the same end, I drank a whole liter of Volvic bottled water that night and kept burping until I’d wake up the next morning.

Bienvenue à la France.